My Sister is a Woman
by ShinAyasaki
Summary: Dia is horrified, Kanan is cheeky, and Mari just wants to know what it's like. (Alternatively; what finally drove Dia to drinking.)


"You know, when I said you could have free drinks at any hotel my family owns, I didn't think you'd actually take me up on the offer."

Dia downed the last of the liquid in her glass, listlessly rolling her head towards the two girls before her. "Mari-san, Kanan-san," she acknowledged. "Nice to see you." She signaled for another, telling the bartender to leave the bottle once the refill was complete.

Kanan and Mari exchanged looks of concern before they each took a set at the bar, Dia between them.

"Dia, what seems to be the problem?" asked Kanan.

"Yes, please tell us what could possibly be so bad that the only solution is at the bottom of a bottle," added Mari. She glanced at the bottle. "A bottle of vodka?!" she exclaimed.

"It's the choice drink of Eli-sama," slurred Dia as she took another sip. "'Cause y'know. They're both Russian. Want any?"

"No," rejected Kanan, wrinkling her nose. "Thank you."

Mari shook her head likewise, but gestured to the bartender. "Two glasses of Dom Perignon, please. So tell us, what's eating you?"

The ravenette sighed deeply, idly tilting the glass of vodka in her hand and watching the ice cube move. "I just found out that my dearest little sister is a woman," she lamented.

Kanan and Mari blinked. "Dia," said Kanan, "I think your sister was always a woman."

"No, no," chided Dia lightly. "I mean, my dearest little sister has _become_ a woman."

"Oh?" wondered Mari as she sipped her champagne, "Do you mean to say that our ever-so adorably innocent Kurosawa Ruby is having _sex_?!"

Dia snapped to the blonde and shot her a withering glare, Mari taking it all in stride and wiggling her eyebrows suggestively for good measure. " _Yes_ ," Dia forced out through ground teeth, "Yes she is." The older sister deflated. "Oh Ruby," she despaired, "Where did I go wrong?!"

Kanan placed a reassuring hand on Dia's arm. "Now hold on, couldn't this all just be a big misunderstanding?" she asked reasonably.

The older sister stared at her with sardonic eyes. "I caught her tongue-deep in Yoshiko-san," she deadpanned.

"Oh."

"Yoshiko-chan? Not Maru-chan?" asked Mari.

"Hanamaru-san was three fingers deep in Ruby."

"Wow," said Kanan unhelpfully.

"Ooh! Tell us more, Dia! We need details!" cheered Mari. She shrugged off the glares from both Dia and Kanan with ease. "Talking about this will help you through your trauma, won't it?"

"Mari, don't push her. Dia, you don't have to talk about anything you don't want to talk about."

"There's not much to talk about," shrugged Dia, "Not really. I mean basically..."

* * *

"Ruby-chan is so cute!" cooed Hanamaru.

"Y-Yeah, i-isn't she?" stuttered Yoshiko in agreement, before throwing her head back as a lustful moan escaped her lips.

Just then, the door opened.

"Ruby, did you pick up any- OH MY GOD!" screamed Dia.

Ruby's head whirled to face her sister. Much to Dia's horror, a small trail of saliva still connected her sister's lips to a special place between a fallen angel's legs.

"Onee-chan! I can explain!"

"NO YOU CAN'T!" shrieked Dia as she ran away.

* * *

"Wow," said Mari unhelpfully.

"Yes," snorted Dia, "'Wow' indeed,"

"You know," said Kanan in thought, "If you're going to talk about your traumatic experience, then perhaps I can relate."

"Can you really?" asked the ravenette skeptically.

"Sure," said Kanan. "It happened fairly recently..."

* * *

"Yes... Right there, Chika-chan. More!" breathed You.

"Chika-chan looks so eager, doesn't she?" remarked Riko as she kissed along You's neck. You could only moan in agreement.

"Hey, Riko-chan? Can you... play with these a little more?" asked the brunette, gesturing to her upper half.

"Of course," smiled the redhead.

"You-chan, I never knew you were so demanding!" called Kanan from the window of Chika's ryokan.

"KANAN-CHAN/SAN!" exclaimed the trio of second years.

"Might want to close your drapes next time," she suggested, waving cheekily.

* * *

"Wow. Catching people while they're in the act sounds really fun!" remarked Mari. "I should try it sometime!"

"It's not worth it," warned Dia, "Trust me."

Kanan and Mari watched as their friend downed the last of the vodka, all but slamming her glass on the table as she staggered back and forth from the alcohol.

"Dia, I think you've had enough to drink for one night," said Kanan. "Why don't we take you somewhere you can lie down?"

Mari nodded. "Kanan's right. How about we head up to the Sea Star Suite and just take it easy for the rest of the night?" she suggested reasonably.

Dia looked blearily at her two best friends, very obviously inebriated. "Okay..." she said eventually.

"Great!" chirped Mari. Just then, her phone rang. "Ah, Daddy's calling me. You two go on ahead. I'll join you later." And with that, the blonde walked off with a smile, flipping open her phone with a melodious, " _Ciao papa~!_ "

Kanan watched for a bit as Mari turned a corner, then refocused all her attention on the drunken girl next to her. "Come on Dia, let's go."

Dia blinked at her. "One last thing..." she said, before swiping and downing the blunette's untouched glass of champagne. She slammed the wine glass back down and let out a long exhale. She turned to Kanan, and the blunette could see something gleaming in Dia's eyes. That last bit of alcohol had definitely changed something in the Kurosawa heiress's mind, though for better or worse, Kanan couldn't say.

"Now I'm good..." Dia slurred, before falling against the diver's strong body. She inhaled deeply, nose pressed against the nape of Kanan's neck. "Mmm... You smell _really_ nice," she managed, before breaking out into giggles.

Sighing in sufferance, Kanan shouldered Dia's weight and began the long trek up to the Sea Star Suite.

* * *

Ten minutes later saw the two of them crossing the threshold into the magnificent Sea Star Suite penthouse. In great contrast to a few short minutes ago, Kanan was an absolute mess, blushing profusely as she held the other girl in a bridal carry. Dia didn't make things any easier for the blunette, all throughout the trip having showered her with affection, something that sober Dia would only do sparingly.

Kanan kicked the door shut behind her as she carried the ravenette over to the bed, unceremoniously dropping her onto the soft mattress. At least, she tried to. Dia had wrapped her arms tight around the blunette's neck and used her drunken strength to pull Kanan down on top of her.

"It's really hot in here, isn't it?" murmured Dia as she kissed along the blunette's neck.

"Dia, stop," said Kanan as she tried to pull away. "You've had a long day, so you should just lie down..." She inhaled sharply as Dia bit down gently. "...so you should lie down and sleep."

The inebriated ravenette pulled back and frowned. "But Kanan! I don't wanna sleep!" she whined uncharacteristically. Then her expression formed a mischievous smirk. "And you know, I'm never this cuddly when I'm sober, so you should totally take advantage, right?"

"If you say it like that, it makes me feel like I really shouldn't."

Dia pouted once more. She pulled the blunette towards herself and held their foreheads together intimately. "Please, Kanan?" she murmured, "I've never regretted having sex with you before, have I?"

Kanan bit her lip in uncertainty. This never-before-seen side of Dia was damnably persuasive. "...What about that one time?" she whispered.

"I think we've learned from our mistakes since then, haven't we?" She gazed up at Kanan with pleading emerald eyes.

"Yeah..." breathed the diver.

"Kanan..." exhaled Dia, "Take me."

* * *

Mari hummed lightly to herself as the elevator ascended, rocking back and forth on the balls of her feet as she waited for the ride to end. The call with her father hadn't been anything too important; he just wanted to know why his daughter's bar tab had racked up such a large amount in so short a time. After Mari explained Dia's situation, he'd promptly arranged a small delivery of vodka to the Kurosawa household. Apparently he'd had a similar reaction when he found out about Mari's sex life.

When the elevator chimed open, the blonde sauntered down the hall to the Sea Star Suite. As she opened the door, she was met with an unexpected yet unsurprising sight.

Kanan and Dia were both very clearly naked, the former holding the latter down against the bed with one hand pressed against Dia's upper back, Kanan's other hand grabbing a large handful of long raven hair. They both turned to Mari, faces flush red and eyes staring with a mixture of embarrassment and desire.

"What's this then?" said Mari aloud as she closed the door behind her, "You decided to have fun without me?"

"Dia was very persuasive," panted Kanan as she moved her hand around to caress Dia's chest.

The Kurosawa heiress moaned appreciatively, before locking her gaze with Mari's. "Mari," she called, "Aren't you going to join us? I know you love it when I'm at your mercy, and tonight I'm feeling completely submissive." She giggled. " _It's not joke_ ," she tempted, shaking her rear enticingly.

Mari smiled. "Don't mind if I do," she said. Within half a second, her clothes were off and falling to the floor.

Before she went to join her girlfriends, Mari realized that Dia was wrong; Catching people while they're in the act was _definitely_ worth it.

 **~END~**

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 **Omake:**

In the morning...

"So what did you think of drunk sex?" Mari asked eagerly. "Was it good for you too?"

Dia just groaned. "I don't even remember any of it, let alone whether or not I was satisfied..."

The blonde frowned. "Well we can't have that, now can we?" She stood.

"Mari," started Kanan, "What are you-?"

Mari untied her robe and let it fall to the floor, now standing before her lovers in absolutely nothing.

"If you're going to stay in the Sea Star Suite, then it's my responsibility to personally see to it that you leave with nothing less than complete satisfaction." She smiled slyly. "So? May I satisfy you?"

Dia looked at her blearily. "...Are you honestly trying to convince me that the cure to a hangover is more sex?"

" _Yes_!"

Kanan and Dia shared an exasperated sigh. "What the hell," acquiesced Dia as she lay back on the bed. She spread her arms wide. "Take me," she deadpanned.

Mari pounced.

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 **Omake 2:**

When the elevator chimed open, the blonde sauntered down the hall to the Sea Star Suite. As she opened the door, she was met with an unexpected yet unsurprising sight.

Kanan and Dia were both sitting on the bed. The blunette was completely naked, while Dia was clad in the giant sexy penguin costume they used when they were feeling especially kinky. A large hardcover book sat between them, along with a small handful of dice.

"Alright, give me a dexterity roll to see if you can climb the castle wall," said Kanan. "Make it at a minus 3 penalty for being drunk."

"Kanan! Dia!" gasped Mari in pseudo horror, "You started Strip D&D without me?!"

The blunette shrugged. "What can I say? I critically failed my Will save and couldn't resist."

.

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 **Omake 3:**

"Ruby, did you pick up any- OH MY GOD!" screamed Dia.

Ruby popped up from where her head was buried between Yoshiko's thighs. "Did I pick up any girls?" she asked, donning a pair of sleek black swag-glasses. "Why yes, yes I did. Thanks for asking."

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 **AN: In retrospect, this is actually pretty similar to my first 3rd years story. Um... oops? Well, there's always next time. :P**


End file.
